Sunday, November 14, 2010
Enough about you, let's talk about me
I've often wondered if there is some common character trait that all bloggers share, if there is I think it would have to be an ability to always bring the conversation back to ourselves, I kid...kind of.
But since we're talking about bloggers, and I'm a blogger, and this is my blog, let's talk about me. Thank you, each one of you, who has been praying for me, after being dealt the blow of learning that Chloe's adoption process is on a two+ month hold. I have felt your prayers, in a big way, God has reached down and picked up the sadness I was carrying around like a wet blanket, and I feel peace and joy, for the first time in a long time. It's bigger than me, so I've stopped trying to understand it, but I feel ready to wait for God to bring her home in His time and I feel blessed to enjoy this time as a family of four with as much fun as we can squeeze in.
One of the ways God is filling me up with joy is through the love of strangers. When a stranger shows me kindness I am always overcome. In their kindness I see Him, using their hands and feet, to say, you are loved. The other day I was at the grocery store with both kids, after they had spent a nap-free day at school. This equals crazy children, and sweaty and stressed mommy. I was walking down the cereal aisle and Kylynn was dancing around and got in the way of an elderly gentleman walking the opposite direction. I asked Kylynn to get out of his way, in I'm sure, a very exasperated voice. He looked at me with such kindness, saying, "I'm in no hurry, she can keep on dancing, before you know it they'll be old enough to do the shopping for you." I wanted to hug him, instead I just thanked him and hoped he didn't notice that I was about to cry.
This Saturday, our town had a miniature horse show at the expo center, it was free to go, so you know we were all about it. We took the kids out and of course they were in heaven, horses just their size! Jack was standing in the stands doing his donkey impression (close enough) and it's a really good one. This lady just fell in love with him and asked us if we would all like to come and meet her horses. She took us over and introduced us to a few horses, let us pet them, and let Kylynn walk one. Her daughter was showing that day and she shared with us their story of how they came to be involved with miniature horses. I cannot tell you how kind she was to our family, how nice it was to have a conversation that was real, with a woman who's name I will never know.
I walked away that day carefully holding something beautiful, yet fragile, I could feel it's weight and see it's beauty. God had given me the gift of seeing His love in everything around me, and I held it close and smiled.
Truth be told, I still don't have a clue why Chloe can't come home today. But I have finally, picked my feet up off the ground, stopped dragging them, and allowed God to drive the car. Who knew being a passenger could feel this free, this light. The wind is blowing through my hair and joy has settled deep in my heart.