Bless the Lord, O my soul

Have you heard 10,000 reasons by Matt Redman, isn't it wonderful.  Every time I hear it I bow down inside, I remember to wipe away this coating the world has put on my eyes and look around me at what is true.  Every time I sing those words, "whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes," I open my hands back up, I losen my grip on what I've laid claim to, and turn to face my day ready to receive the gifts He has for me, even those that seem scary at first glance.  It makes me want to learn how to count His blessing better, to each night arrive at 10,000 and start all over again the next day.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, I will worship your Holy name, in praise and thanksgiving of

This one, who prayed for me this morning that I would spend time reading my Bible and have restful alone time.  Just hearing her pray those words changed my outlook on the day, how did she know just how to pray, how did God ever see it fit to allow me to raise her.  Who takes two full minutes when I drop her off at school to make sure to give us all long hugs and big kisses and then stands outside the car signing I love you with the biggest smile you've ever seen.

Finishing this book and loving it so much that I plan to flip it back over and start all over again.  To find my struggles written so beautifully on the page and see how God can work to heal the sins that nag me and the fears that haunt me.  To be reminded that the spiritual discipline of thanksgiving is powerful and so very necessary.

This one who had a dry diaper two nights in a row.  Who looked at me when I lost my cool and said, I'm going to give you a hug and a kiss, mommy.  He overwhelms me with his patience and his soft heart and his courage, oh to have courage like him.  For the second time he cleaned up the playroom by himself in order to get a treat and the few moments of a picked up house soothed over the rough spots in my day.

Watching this documentary* and knowing I still have part two waiting for me.  It made me cry so hard it hurt and I actually punched something I was so angry.  But it is always good to remember what I am here for, it is always important to understand that the comforts of my life do not entitle me to turn away from the darkness and the battle against it.  To hear His voice remind me that I need only continue to seek Him and obey, always obey, and daily to pray and pray again.

This little one who could not be cuter which brings me such joy and sadness, knowing that really soon she will be a big kid and she will be beautiful and amazing but, she will someday stop needing me to hold her and won't always call herself "Foey."  She received a gift yesterday and she opened it all by herself and I got to watch her dance to the latest CD from a famous Kpop artist.  I took her in my arms and I asked her if she remembered, could she possibly remember how she used to dance to this music with her second mama.  And in those moments I am always humbled to be apart of something so very big, the complicated lives of my children.

We walked over to this neighborhood library in the park, leave a book, take a book, it's all free for any who would like.  And I just stood there staring at it, thinking well now, there it is, the best thing.  A free library, in the park I love, in my neighborhood, surrounded by flowers.  Isn't it amazing the way He loves, he doesn't just provide for our every need, he gives us a deep abiding joy, and then he puts sprinkles on top with the most frivolous things that He knows would mean the world to us, a library in the park!

9,981 more reasons to go, I'm off to see what the Lord has for me today, and I pray I may be singing when the evening comes.

*You can still view Half the sky online for 5 for more days.  For what it's worth I think that this is one of the most important subject matters you can educate yourself on.  I urge you to watch these, they are well done and enjoyable while they stir your heart.

Let's talk Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Jenny on Pinterest

Have y'all noticed I've been a little absent on this here blog lately, it's because of a little thing called Pinterest.  Are you on Pinterest, if so let's discuss, if not well listen in and decide if the good outweighs the bad, I honestly don't know.

Source: polyvore.com via Jenny on Pinterest

You see Pinterest is a little like crack.  Well I've never done crack (shocking I know), how about this Pinterest is a little like cheese puffs.  One taste and your hooked, before you know it you can't stop consuming until the last one has been eaten.  When it's all said and done you're left feeling a little guilty but mostly thinking about when you can have more.

Source: crushculdesac.tumblr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

For those of you not on Pinterest, it is website where you can create virtual pinboards of pictures (that include links to the website they're from) organized by category.  You also follow others and see what they're pinning, which if you're not creative (like me) you can just re-pin whatever they do.  I have a board with recipes, one with fashion, one with ideas for my home, one I used while Christmas shopping, and one for guilty pleasures, like this picture of my favorite vampire someone pinned and I literally could not stop myself.

Source: sassybitchface.tumblr.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Here's the thing about Pinterest that separates it from all the other time wasters out there on the web.  After I spend an hour on Pinterest I feel like I just cooked this dinner and this one, made this dessert to boot, styled my hair, bought a whole new outfit, learned how to clean my bathroom with a grapefruit, and painted my island turquoise!  Only problem is all I really did was spend an hour looking at pretty pictures and pinning them onto my boards.

Source: fortheloveofcooking-recipes.blogspot.com via Jenny on Pinterest

But believe or not I do actually use the things I pin.  I've become much more fashion conscious, well some days at least.  I've cooked many of the recipes I've found, and found that just because someone has a fancy camera doesn't mean their recipe is any good, but sometimes it does.  I've tried the sock bun for curling my hair, and it made my hair look like a rat's nest, but I'm hoping it was user's error and will try again.  I used it very effectively to pick out Christmas gifts, and have a list as long as Kyle's arm (he's got long arms) for projects to do around the house.  In short, it's made me more creative and eager to try new things then I've been since I grew up and lost that creative energy that used to drive me.

Source: jenniferjohner.typepad.com via Jenny on Pinterest

Are you on Pinterest?  If so let me know I'd love to follow you, because the more people I follow the more cool pins I see when I log on and the less likely I am to click on the "popular" pins link and find myself drowning in a world of amazing pins that never ends.  Afterall a girl's gotta sleep sometime.

*wow, the word "Pinterest is very hard to spell and blogger needs to learn it's a real word so I can easily see where I've messed up*

Just in time for Christmas: an infomercial

Ok guys there is a lot I've been meaning to blog about, like our weekend (yes the one a whole week ago) and how we're trying to do Christmas differently this year, and how I'm afraid everyone will hate their gifts.  But I'm tired and I trying to keep up with all there is to keep up with this season.  So you'll have to settle for a gift idea.

One of my favorite things I own is the Prepara Herb Savor.  Apparently before it was one of my favorite things it was one of Oprah's favorite things, but amazingly it doesn't cost 500 hundred dollars.  And unlike Oprah I actually cook my own food, so you can believe what I have to say about it.

This thing does what it says it does, it saves your herbs.  Cilantro is probably my favorite food, just the smell of it makes my whole day better.  But you know how cilantro is, after one day that stuff is dead, and even I can't use a whole bunch in one day.  But with the Herb Savor my cilantro is still (just) useable after three weeks.  That's right THREE whole weeks!!

For the cook who has everything this year, check out the Prepara Herb Savor, cilantro lovers around the world will thank you (oh yeah it also works for other herbs).

End of infomercial, Merry Christmas!

It's my birthday and I'll do a giveaway if I want to

This week is my birthday.  I'm turning 32, and I'm told I don't look a day over 35 so there's that.  I was thinking about what I wanted for my day, and one of the things that came to my mind was "comments."

If you are not a blogger then this probably does not make any sense to you, but getting a comment on a post you wrote is truly a gift.  I love getting to hear what someone out there thought about a topic, I love knowing that at least one person read my blog, and most of all it is through comments that I have made new friends, some of them who have become people I adore and talk about constantly (although I do always preface it with you know my friend I've never met....).

Then last week I finished reading, No Biking in the House without a helmet by Melissa Fay Greene, I knew that I had to do my first giveaway.  It's the perfect combination, I get to give you a book I think you'll love and at the same time I get to meet some of you out there who read this blog :).

The memoir, No Biking in the House, is one of the best books I have read in a really long time. Bottom line, it made me happy and I didn't want it to end.  I completely fell in love with this family, I wanted to move next door so that I could spend time with them everyday.

Melissa Faye Green's is the mother to nine children, four by birth, and five by adoption.  This memoir begins when they have reached a point in their life where they must decide whether or not to try for a fifth child and tells their rather gradual and perhaps accidental path to adoption from there.

I must tell you, this book is just the story of their family, it is not a how-to on international adoption, or a book on dealing with the issues sure to come with adopting older children (though she certainly could write either of those books).  There is no preaching to be found, instead it is full of honesty in their successes and failures, including their doubts and second thoughts during each adoption.

This book made me laugh out loud, which is something I rarely do while reading.  I was inspired by her ability to relax about the craziness of having a family of eleven, her laid back approach was contagious.  It also made me cry, admittedly it was because of my own life experiences, but her love and devotion to her children and the journey they take to bring each one of them home is very touching.

It's hard for me not to not just start over on page one, but I figure the next best thing is not let you start on page one, then we can discuss. :)  So if you would like a copy of No Biking in the House without a helmet by Melissa Fay Greene, leave a comment telling me the last book you told all your friends about.  

If you would like to blog, facebook, or tweet about the giveaway go for it, please leave a *new* comment for each one you do.  Each person is allowed up to 3 comments.  The chance to enter the giveaway will end Friday at 5pm and I will randomly pick a winner and announce it by next Monday!

*I just wanted to give away a book I loved to one of y'all, it's a gift from me to you, Melissa Fay Greene has no idea who I am.*

What I'm loving this month

Our blackberry bushes were a bust this year, we got a total of around 22 blackberries out of 3 huge bushes.  On the other hand we have tomatoes, oh yes we have tomatoes in abundance.  I hate to waste food so we've been eating lots of tomatoes (and eggplants, onions, basil, and mint, our other bumper crops).  The other day it occurred to me I needed to eat some red meat soon, I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten any meat and it's no fun to be anemic.

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My favorite tomato recipes so far, tomato pie (thank you Elizabeth!) and fried green tomatoes.  I'll let Ms. Paul Deen tells you to make a tomato pie but for the fried green ones just do this, dip green tomato slices in flour, then egg, then panko crumbs, fry until a beautiful golden brown, remove from the oil and grind up some sea salt on top.  Oh my they are some kind of wonderful, I just drooled on my keyboard.

I got two of these dresses from Land's End and they finally came in this month, I waited two whole months, but let me tell you it was worth it.  I have a new uniform folks.  I wore it to the splash pad in 200 degree heat and I stayed cool.  I love it, it is very flattering, I wish I would have ordered three instead of two.

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I'm reading Bringing Up Girls, by Dr. Dobson.  I have cried my eyes out reading this book, mainly because I'm an emotional mess, but also because the book is so insightful into what little girls and women need from their parents.  This book is all about meeting your daughter's needs in such a way that she can grow up to be a successful, godly woman.  I think I'm going to have to buy it, it is a lot to take in in a few short weeks, and it is definitely a book worth owning.

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My pandora station introduced me to, Ray LaMontagne, I had never heard of him before and I am smitten.  His voice has some physical effect over me, I feel myself relax and refocus on happy things.  I wonder if there is any way I could stick my earbuds in my ears and listen to him during Jack's doctor appointments without looking like a crazy person, no?

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I drank a whole bottle of Simply Lemonade in about 2 days last week.  Oh my it is good stuff, it tastes like homemade lemonade, trust me I know.  For some reason I could never grasp today, before I had kids I regularly made lemonade from scratch all summer long, that's right I juiced the lemons by hand.  On that same note isn't it funny how before you had kids you thought you were "busy" and now you realize that you didn't even know the meaning of the word busy :).

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Did y'all watch Lost?  I didn't and I've yet to see an episode, but it seems like every week I read another blog about someone watching Lost on DVD and how much they've enjoyed it.  So it's not fair to say I'm loving Lost, but I'm loving the idea of watching Lost this summer, the problem is how to get my hands on the series for free to cheap, I am the only person in the world without Netflix (we use Blockbuster.com....long story), any ideas?

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Have you heard of Seeds Worship music, if you haven't here's all you need to know, it is scripture put to music for children, that will not make you want to "accidentally" break the CD.  It is good stuff, the Seeds of Courage CD is so good I listen to it by myself all the time, I'm often in need of courage.  The even cooler part is that all the CDs come with an extra copy you can give to a friend, free birthday present, score!

We finished our study a while back, before and after pictures coming soon, and my favorite thing about it is that I finally get to hang up this poster I bought from JollyGoode.  Flower patch farmgirl told us about her and really I might just plan another room around one of her prints, I love them that much!

How about you anything you're loving this month, let me in on it, please!

A weekend to remember

We had one of those weekends.  The good kind, the kind you catch yourself saying, make a memory, hold onto this moment and remember it next time you feel like nothing is going your way.  I felt blessed to have grown enough to notice the gifts that were given to me, to stop and listen to the laughter that was filling my house and just listen, to realize that time spent with the people you love is important, really important.

It was Kylynn's fifth birthday and we began the party on Thursday and kept on all weekend long.  She awoke bright and early on her special day and put on the fancy outfit she had deemed appropiate and was rewarded with her first present before I was even out of bed.  She spent the next hour bouncing on her new swing and seeing if her friends were home so she could show it off.

That evening we gave her the gifts from us.  Roller skates (ice skates she calls them), a baby seat for her bike, some summer dresses and googles.  We marveled at her grown up responses to her gifts, "what I've always wanted, forever...it's so beautiful...oh my word, and wondered if it was possible to love a girl more.

The next day my sister was there, I had reinforcements and I took full advantage.  She took Kylynn off for a little date while I took just two kids to speech therapy.  Aunt Jessie took Kylynn for her first manicure and I'm pretty sure she will have gotten more manicures than me by the time she's 12, but I didn't have an aunt Jessie.  Kyle and I snuck off for our first date in 8 weeks! with Chloe in tow (having just a one year old still counts as a date in my book).  We went to an estate sale at the oldest house in Bryan and just got to enjoy the view because the prices were laughably high.  We ended up finding a rug for our study and sneaking off for a lunch out.

That afternoon my sister and I took the kids to the pool and had such a blast.  It was Chloe's first time to go to the pool and the girl LOVED it, I'm talking wanted nothing to do with me, never cried when she fell in, and wanted to be able to walk right on into the deep in.  We ate up a bag full of oreos and apples but still manage to eat the yummy lasagna waiting for us when we got home (yes my handyman can cook too!)

Saturday the rest of my family was here and it was time to celebrate the five year old again.  We headed out to the Hullabaloo diner because it had made it's way onto the Food Network and the food is amazing, it was the perfect place to take guests.  When we got there there was a long wait so they sent us around to the patio to wait.  We get back there and they have live music, actually good, live music and strangely enough the first thing he says is I have an extra mic if anyone wants to join me.  Well, now that you mention it we are the proud owners of a musician in our family (my brother in law).  So we spent the next couple of hours listening to them sing for us, eating amazing food, and enjoying the beautiful day.  It was by far the most fun I've had in ages, it was magical, I kept wanting to stop time and live in that moment a little longer.

The rest of the afternoon was spent watching Kylynn open every Barbie/Princess item they sell in the stores and eating an amazing cake.  As I'm sure you are all aware, I did not make this cake, nope that would be crafty and I am nothing if not the opposite of crafty.  My sweet friend, Crystal, has begun her own cake business and I was blown away by what she came up with when I asked for a strawberry shortcake cake.  I have never seen anything like this in real life, she made the strawberry cake by grinding up real strawberries, wow!  If you need a cake, cupcakes, cake pops, cookies, you get the idea I'll put you in touch with her, anything you can dream up she can do.

When they left Saturday evening I was so full of joy.  It was hard to see them leave but I felt blessed have taken the time to live in the moments of this weekend, not to mention there was still two days left of it to enjoy!

What I'm loving this month

I'm not sure exactly how to say this, I don't want to get some weird hits on my blog this week, so here goes nothing.  When I was pregnant with Kylynn I went from being "chesty" to "very chesty" and even as I lost most of that weight over the past 5 years, that particular area of my body is the exact same size as it was when I was a nursing mama.  So I hate putting on a swimsuit for all the normal reason plus the reason of looking like a 60 year old woman with her chest hanging done around her waist.  Not to mention I look like I'm trying to be revealing, really I'm not I just can't find a top to fit me correctly!

I decided enough was enough and I was just going to have to shell out some money for a swim top this year, even the cheapskate in me is so happy with the results.  Land's End has such an amazing selection for swim suits no matter what your particular flaw(s) are.  In several of the tops you can pick your size and THEN choose your cup size (if you are a D or above) or even choose tops made for women who've had a mastectomy or are long waisted.  So for 40$ after shipping, I got this lovely lady.

I love it, love it, love it!  It fits so nicely, it has underwire (can I get a hallelujah!) and I can keep the girls completely covered, which is always nice when you live in a relatively small town and are always running into friends at the pool (am I the only one who feels odd standing in a bathing suit talking to our youth pastor?).  I had the swim mini that I got from Land's End last year on clearance for 10$ so for 50$ I have a swimsuit I actually feel good in, for the first time since I became a mom.

We are part of a new ministry at our church aimed at raising awareness in the church to care for orphans.  The leader of the group went to a conference on the topic of orphan care and brought back the book, Castaway Kid by R. B. Mitchell.  I'm not quite done with the book yet but I am blowing through it, it is amazing and uplifting and basically you need to read it.  I am struck while I read it on the many adults who made a difference in his life growing up even though he was never adopted.  I am even more struck that God has more in store for our family and what he would like us to do to love the orphan.

Have you had the chicken strip salad at Chick Fila, well you need to.  Personally I'm not usually one to waste a good eating out by getting a salad, but this salad is better than anything else I've ever had there.  It's the perfect combination of getting in several vegetables but still getting that great flavor of their chicken.

Did y'all watch the finale of Parenthood.  Ok I know it was like a whole month ago, but I DVRed and watched it a couple of weeks ago, so good!  I was going to eat a piece of cake while watching it, ultimate relaxation, but I cried the entire hour and couldn't eat my cake (don't you worry I ate it later).  Please tell me you guys love this show, such good TV!

My friend I love but have never met, Elizabeth, told me to read Please Look after Mom by Kyung-sook Shin, and I always do what she says.  It was awesome, loved getting to learn little bits about Korean culture and it was beautifully written.  My only critique was I would have like more of it, I think (although I might have just been confused by the names) that there is a child that we never get to know and we could have gotten to know the father more as well.

Finally I would like to bring back dancing in the rain.  I believe in it, as in if I had a I had a "rules to live by" it would contain, never pass up a chance to dance in the rain.  You can have things like that on your rules when you live in Texas, in Seattle I'm thinking not so much.

the phenomenon sweeping the nation

I wanted to write a "Whatnot Wednesday" post today, I really did even though I hadn't taken the time to think it through, in order to have lots of randomness to say, but it's been one of those days.

You know the ones where you spend your morning at speech and your afternoon at a three hour check up for your youngest two children.

You know the ones where the doctor gives you so many papers for perscriptions and referals and follow ups, that leaves you wondering exactly how you will find the time and sanity to take your kids to all those appointments.

The ones where you get home at almost five o'clock and think that maybe moving would be easier than trying to clean up your house and counting the minutes till Chloe goes to bed so you can let the dog out (miss Chlo is not a fan of dogs) so that you can have clean floors again.  What! you don't clean your floors that way, well aren't you Martha Stewart, I'm just getting by y'all, just getting by.

So in the end I settled for this whiny lovely post, but want to tell you to go check out the new phenomenon sweeping the nation that is "Whatnot Wednesday".  Wednesday are quickly becoming my favorite day because of it and if you need a "neti pot for your brain" link up!

ps- What the hey is up with my pictures on the sidebar, it looks like I'm some weird mama who loves her girls but is not so proud of the boys, really I have no idea what I'm doing on this thing and that's just how the pictures uploaded, but I'd love for them all to be big, including my jackie and handyman, I'll ask the hubby for some help!

An event to tell our stories

My church, Grace Bible Church, is having a women's event this Friday evening, March 25th, called "Something to Say."  It sounds like a blast but I have the small problem of being in Korea so I won't be making it.  


Dinner will be served and the attendees will get to hear the amazing stories of Erin Cole and Renee Davis Meyer, these stories will move you and inspire you and just really refresh your walk with God.


 Then they're going to have break out sessions to learn how to tell your story and how to affectively learn other's stories.  And after that if your young and don't go to bed at 9pm, you can stay and hang out with amazing women and make journals.  


So if you want to sign up head over to Grace Bible's website and click on "register for this event."  It's open to all women, college aged and up.


They asked people to submit a story for a booklet they're going to be handing out to everyone, below is my story of grace.


I was going to tell you a different story, a story that sat unfinished for the past two weeks, I intended to finish it today and then, today, of all days, I got the phone call I've been waiting for.  The phone call to tell me that our daughter Chloe is ready to come home and we can fly to Korea to get her.

And now it is impossible for me to tell you any other story, because today the only story I know is the story of Chloe, which is the story of Jack and the story of Kylynn and the story of us.  The story of being a mother.  Who has walked such different paths to motherhood, a story of being on this path for so long, that we all have a hard time remembering not everyone does it this way.  Just this morning we passed the hospital where Kylynn was born and she told Jack that was where mommy came to get her after she was born, she does not understand the concept of giving birth, she only understands adoption.

And there it is, if God uses me for nothing else in my life, I will be content, he has used me to raise a little girl who, though I carried her for nine months, labored with her for 28 hours until they had to take her from my body, only understands adoption.  It is my story, it is my legacy, it is who I am.  A mother.  A mother of two children with a third one I will have my arms around come week end.  A mother who understands hurt and joy that I never dreamed I would experience, a mother who's seen how ugly this world can be, and how completely it contrasts to the beautiful plan he has for me.

This is what adoption has taught me, God has something he wants each of our lives for that is bigger than ourselves.  Something he wants us to say yes to that we cannot do on our own.  He chooses whatever scares us the most, the thing we instinctively say "no way" to, that thing we can't possibly do alone, so that, in the end having lost the ability to rely on self we turn to him and the world looks in and sees glory, his big beautiful glory.

Adoption taught me that we can say yes to the impossible, to the "no ways", because all he asks of us is our yes, the rest falls to him.  When we say yes and walk through that door he's placed in our path, the love and joy and peace comes like a river, and it can only be experienced in handing over our dreams to Him.   When you trade in your treasures for a yoke, your rights for a master, then you know: this is what it is to be rich, this is what it is to be free.

Adoption is all I know these days, it is my story.  I took all the dreams I had for my life, my marriage,  my family, and I traded them in for His.  He has held my hand every step of the way, he has never once let me down, never once asked me to do anything on my own.  He asks me daily to hand over the latest piece of junk I've picked up and begun to treasure, daily to come and follow Him, daily to remember I am His and this is his story to tell.

My new friend, Jodi

Blogging has been so many good things in my life, one of them is the chance to meet others out there who are walking along the same path.  Others who feel the pull towards adoption and understand the unique joy it is to adopt.  Others that I get to tentatively talk to, in a comment or email, and over time become real true friends.  Friends I would tell my secrets to, turn to for advice, and who in return, remind me that I am not alone.

The other day I made a new friend, Jodi Queenan, and I'm really excited to introduce y'all to her, because besides being a soon to-be adoptive mama, she is a talented artist with a very generous heart.  I first found Jodi and her art while having an entirely impulsive shopping day at etsy.  I began looking around for "adoption art", whatever that means, because I wanted art work for Jack's big boy room that reflected his unique story and his Korean heritage.  Finally I stumbled upon Jodi's etsy shop and I knew I had found what I was looking for.  She has beautiful art to reflect the love between parents and children, adoption, and interracial families, I was smitten.

The two pieces I decided on were, Even the mighty Ocean, and Korean adoption.  I snatched them up and before I knew it a package had arrived.  The only problem was it only contained one of the pieces I had purchased, so I emailed Jodi and she was super nice about believing me and getting another one out to me right away.  Too bad a few months later (yes I'm a little behind on my projects) when I finished framing them and went to take out the trash this week I found the missing piece in an envelope that was there all along.

I was mortified, I had stolen! a really beautiful piece of artwork, and worse when I had told her that I was missing one of the pieces, I said I was SURE it wasn't there (at the time I really was).  So I mustered up my courage and emailed her to see how I could get the print back to her or make it right in some way. Instead of being mad, she said no biggie, give it away to a friend or charity and then after breathing in a big breath of relief, I knew I had made a friend.

My new friend Jodi, besides being uber-talented is using her etsy shop to raise money for an orphanage in Ethiopia, where a percentage of all her profits goes each month.  Jodi also is involved in raising money for various charities through her artwork.  In addition to the prints that I purchased from her, she also makes jewelry to express your unique family, jewelry that I just have to have, hint, hint.  And her latest thing, "thank you for asking cards" which are perhaps the best idea I've ever seen, they're cards to hand out to people who inquire about your interracial family, and include additional cards that talk about how one person can make a difference in the life of an orphan.  

My sweet friends, go check her out and know that money you spend at her shop is supporting not only her and her husband's desire to adopt from Ethiopia but also helps other children in need of families in that country.  Be ready to make a friend, she is one of those rare ones who are super talented but you can't even be jealous because they're that sweet!