We found out this week that we have been assigned a baby. I pretty much thought that the social worker on the other end of the line was making some kind of mistake, because we've only been waiting 2 months and when we started this whole process they said the wait time would be 18 months and though that number has slowly trickled down to smaller and smaller numbers, two months is just impossible. So I prayed she wouldn't realize her mistake until it was too late and said, "that's great!"
Then she said the words that took all the things I knew to be certain and turned them upside down. "She's a beautiful baby girl."** Can I tell you that my responses both times I've received a child assignment and the one time I received the okay to travel call, sound so different in my head than they do out loud. I said something like, "Okay, that's great, please send me the information." When inside my head I was screaming, "Oh my, I can't believe this, this isn't supposed to happen, we're not allowed to get a girl, I'm so excited, what's going on!"
When I saw her picture for the first time I cried and praised God and my first thought was, so you've got something planned for Kylynn, huh? If you remember that little one refused to put God in the box that I had been telling her to, the "adoption agency says we just don't qualify for a girl" box. She just went right on praying for the sister she wanted, she remember what somehow I had forgotten, God is bigger than our agency and can give us the children He has for us, anyway He wants. Even if that's being given a perfect baby girl after just two months of waiting.
I am really still in shock, there was no room in my head for it being a girl, I had all the details of having two boys decided in my head and I'm having to start all over again.
Something really neat happened to me again this time around. I had never dreamed of Jack until the night before I got the call that we could travel to pick him up, my defenses are that good and the waiting for your baby during this phase is painful. But the night before we were told we were free to bring him home I had the most wonderful dream about holding him and feeding him and being his mommy. Well the night before I got the phone call that we had been assigned Chloe, I dreamed for the first time of having our new baby home but in my dream it was a girl. When I woke up I thought that was odd, but really didn't think anything of it of course until I got that phone call a few hours later.
If you're the praying kind, please pray that God would prepare our hearts and our home (literally we're building in her room) for baby Chloe. Please also join us in praying that God would bring her home by Christmas, as He did with Jack.
*We haven't decided yet whether to spell it Chloe or Khloe
**I'm sorry there are no pictures...our agency asks us not to post too much information online, I will post pictures once I get her in my arms, I promise.