The problem with the phone

When we moved to this house last year and were not able to take our phone number with us, a phone number that had been mine for nine long years, that seemed to belong to me, like the numbers that make up my birthday or my social security number, it was decided we would be cell phone only people.  After all it would save us 250 dollars a year and we are if nothing else, frugal.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, most people know my cell phone number, or at least the ones I'd care to talk to.  Now of course it would require me to turn it on from time to time, keep it charged, and know where I put it.  But when it is your only means of communication with the outside world, those skills are easily acquired.

The problem it turns out with our grand plan, is not me, but the phone.  Or maybe I should say, it's not me, or the phone, it's the house, but since the house is not changeable, we'll go back to blaming it on the phone.  You see, the phone doesn't work in my house.  Yes, that's right my only phone in my house where I reside with a 4 year old, 2 year old, and soon an infant, doesn't like my house.

When I'm out and about it works great, gives me no trouble, but here in my house it requires a strange dance of me trying to locate a sliver of space where it will receive service.  I have located two reliable places, now let me say, those places are very small, as in I lean to the left or right and I start to hear the, "hello...hello"s.

So are you getting the picture, someone calls me, I walk to my one spot where the phone works where the children are still in view and I stand very still.  Kylynn starts playing with things she's not suppossed to be touching, Jack starts screaming just for the fun of it, they turn into little monsters, because somewhere in their subconcious, they've noticed when Mommy's on the phone in this house, she cannot move.  We can be as bad as we want because apparently talking on her phone makes her feet become glued to the floor, they don't know why, but they know it works to their advantage.

The worst part is, besides the crazed children, is that I cannot get anything done while I'm on the phone now, which means I always feel like I need to get off asap.  Previously I would love talking on the phone because I had the ability to get a couple chores crossed off my list, while never fully realizing I was doing them.  Unfortunately now I'm always fully present while I magic eraser my walls or dust my furniture, which probably explains why I put it off for so long.

So maybe we need to go back to the drawing board on the whole idea of only have cell phones, but until then, if I miss your call or take a while to call you back, don't think it's because I don't want to talk to you, it's just that sometimes it takes my phone a few days to tell me I've missed a call, seriously.