Fleeting

I'm not sure if it's because Jack and Kylynn are getting a little older and time seems to have slowed down from the clip speed it goes at when you have an one and three year old, but lately I've been finding myself acutely aware of how temporary the type of relationship I have with Kylynn is.

She is only three and yet I can see all the signs of the days to come. Someday she will look at me and and say "nothing", "whatever", and "leave me alone". There will perhaps come a day, where she no longer thinks my clothes and hair are "cute", but instead is embarrassed to be seen by me. There will be yelling and disrespect and tears on both sides. Somehow I feel that all of that I can endure, but when she comes and climbs in my lap to give me a hug and a kiss, I cannot bear to think that that will not always be.

I have no idea why I suddenly seem to have this thought in my mind so often. When she kisses me goodnight, I wonder how many more years I have of this. I catch myself staring at her and wanting so badly to be able to capture her right here and now. The way she looks, her innocence, her voice, the things she believes, to lock it up in my heart and save for a rainy day in the future.

It is now, this stage in life, that I think I finally am beginning to understand what God was saying in His word, "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate." Psalms 127:3-5