Friday, May 1, 2009
There is something else I hate, swine flu.
Why? Because I love my sisters. I love them more easily and freely than anyone else in this world. Our bond is absent of the complications found with parents, spouses, and children. They have always been in my life, always been my friend, and most of all have always made me laugh.
We are suppossed to go on a cruise, just the three of us, and you guessed it, it's suppossed to have a stop in Mexico. So far cruises identical to ours have been cancelled, we probably won't know our fate until the last minute.
The fact that it's a cruise we're going on is just a bonus, what I have been longing for is the adventure, the experience, the three of us all grown up alone for 4 days. We spent countless hours alone just the three of us growing up, more than we often wanted I'm sure, but something happens when you grow up. First you leave so that seeing each other is no longer life but a visit. Then other people are added to the equation so that you cannot remember the last time you were allowed to be together without a parent, husband or child along for the ride. It's just the way life goes, you have to stop and pay attention and plan for anything different to happen.
So my sister did, she planned it out, made the arrangements got everything taken care of, I didn't even have to do a thing (how our roles have changed). And now swine flu might mess everything up.
This is what I miss, this is what I was looking forward to: laughing until you throw up. Never happens in my "real life" but has happened several times with my sisters. I'm a happy person, sure I laugh from time to time, but it is not nearly the same. I need to laugh like that again, I need to have a fit of uncontrollable giggles and annoy all the people around us. I need to say half a sentence and have my sister finish it, I need someone to understand why I feel the way I feel without explanation. I need to re-connect to them, to learn all the parts I miss these days that we're grown and living separate lives. I need to say remember the time and see their faces flash with the memory, going back in time with me to places we loved and miss.
It will happen, we'll take our trip one way or another, I just hope it's soon because most of all right now I need someone to remind me about the rest of me. The me that existed before my days consisted of one child's need after another, the me that will still be there once my kids have grown up and moved away. The me that used to sit on the blue fence passing away the hours perfectly content with nothing but my sisters.