Sunday, January 4, 2009
When you have your first child your entire life is turned upside down, in a wonderful amazing way. You no longer have the huge amount of free time you once had (you realize in retrospect) nor the energy to do much with the free time you do have. But then amazingly the days go by your baby grows up and more and more you find that you have time to get things done, that your life has returned to a new (even better) normal.
So you think, this is easy...we can do this again, and you add a second child to the mix. And suddenly you realize, wow! now this is an adjustment. Who knew that a person could do so many things in one day, become so exhausted, and at the end of the day have absolutely no evidence to show for it.
It has been three weeks now since we brought Jack home and we are finally finding some quasi-routine. I am asked (with a grin I might add) by my friends with multiple children, "So how are you adjusting to two?" The grin tells me, they know too, that it's not just me, that it is crazy going from one kid to two. Not too crazy, not so crazy I don't love it, not so crazy that I can't handle it, just crazy enough to realize that without God's help I cannot find the energy to repeat the whole thing again the next day, and just crazy enough to realize that my parents are indeed saints.
If I had to pinpoint what is so hard about two verses one, it's that there is no downtime. With one you have huge chunks of time (even when their 2 1/2) when they're sleeping each day, and during those times you can catch up or even if your lucky, sleep yourself. But with two there is not much of the day when they are both sleeping, so I am always occupied. And perhaps more than that it's the re-adjustment to one of my children being so young. Jack is sleeping, drinking a bottle, or eating all but a couple hours a day, so I have very small windows of time when I can go anywhere or spend real time with Kylynn.
Here is the good things and I promise they outweigh the challenges. I get to love two kids like crazy, it is one of God's miracles how much we love our children and the fact that we can love more than one child with that intensity amazes me. I'm so in love with that boy, I can't wait for him to get up from his nap so that he can take up more of my time :). Kylynn has had a huge attitude adjustment ever since we brought Jack home. She of course has seemed jealous a time or two, but to my great surprise, she seems to truly love Jack (and wants him to get up from his naps even more than me!) and lives to help take care of him. On top of that Kylynn has learned how to play by herself (a necessity when I'm feeding or rocking him), and she has become very affectionate.
Most of all I get to serve the Lord in a way I love, all day long and do it well. I no longer have to wonder what can I do to serve Him today, it's right there in front of me. And I am being refined daily, learning how to put others' needs before my own, learning to serve and love and sacrifice my wants in order to be Jesus in two people's lives that so desperately need Him.