Well at least I'm not alone, the goats feel my pain.

I'm a fainter. The first time I remember fainting I was 6 or 7 and I've continued to pass out with amazing consistency. This week I had to go to the dermatologist, I had a funny mole on my leg I wanted her to look at. She agreed that it was suspect and decided to remove it by cutting it out, so she laid back the chair till it was in the laying down position and gave me a shot to numb it. So there I was LAYING DOWN in no pain, with no blood or guts in view and what do I do but pass out!! Luckily the doctor and her nurse were very calm and didn't seem the least bit concerned and it was all in all not a huge deal.

Now a little background on my amazing ability to faint. Every time I have fainted in my life and there have been many were to do with seeing blood (mine or someone else's) or having some type of procedure done by a doctor, most likely having my blood taken. My most amazing feat up until this most recent incident was passing out after HEARING a story about a bloody car wreck and their attempt at saving someone. That's right, there was absolutely no visuals to go along with the story, I heard it and passed out (in the middle of High School no less).

So for years I have on occassion asked a doctor about this strange fainting and they said dumb things like, Oh you're probably holding your breathe (which I can assure you I made sure this last time I was not!). Then about two years ago I was getting a physical for our adoption and we were going over all my history and I asked him about the fainting. And he said oh yes, you have "yadda yadda" disorder, it's not very common, but whereas most people when they're really scared or in distress their blood vessels and heart do one thing (speed up I think) your body does the opposite, it shuts down, causing you to faint.

So, this week after fainting again I was telling Kyle about it and he asked how it was possible to faint laying down when I could neither feel nor see anything painful. So I reminded him what the doctor had said...and he said, Oh yeah you have that fainting goat disorder.

Goodbye Olympics, Hello Students, Kitty, and Job

Goodbye Olympics. I will miss you dearly, soon I will begin my count down till we see you again...4 more years till the next summer Olympics! You have been a wonderful friend these past two weeks, entertaining me, causing me to jump up and down with excitement, and reminding me why I love being an American. But you have also caused me to become so sleep deprived that I no longer make sense when I speak and the other day I fell asleep sitting straight up in Kylynn's room playing "kitchen". So while I'll miss you, it is time for you to go, I have to get something more done than just cheering for the USA!

The students are back in town, marking one of my favorite times of year I love their excitement about A&M and this new chapter of their lives. Being around them makes me remember how it feels to have a lifetime of possibilities and adventures laid out before you. Kyle and I got to go help out at a BBQ for students on campus this past weekend and it was such a joy to talk to the students, I'm always amazed by their intelligence and their respectfulness. Living in a student town is such fun for our family and we're so glad y'all are back. Whoop!!

In addition to the students we also have a kitty hanging around our house. Now we're not cat people and Kyle is allergic, but this kitten decided to adopt our family and we must admit it is a really sweet cat. This kitten has been coming around every other day or so for the past couple of weeks and Kylynn just loves it! It is a really playful kitten and Raven (our dog) doesn't know what to think about it, since the kitten is not afraid of dogs at all, and therefore doesn't run away.

Thank you for all your prayers and networking, Kyle has gotten a permanent job that he will start once his six week job is over. For once in our life we were calm and still and allowed God to work and it is nice to see that indeed there was a plan He was working out. God provided a job that Kyle is very excited about, with our first raise in a number of years, and a boss that he likes and respects. All of those things were an answer to prayer and none of them would have happened had he not been fired.

Now if only we could be calm and still again and allow God to work. But instead this adoption is making us frantic, we are at our best (and by that I mean worst) state of uptight, worrying, frantic type A people. The paperwork is still being rejected for something that doesn't make sense and we cannot fix, so our frustration is at a high. Please pray that our paperwork will be deemed acceptable on this try and will therefore be sent off to our adoption country. Until this happens we are at a stand still and the countdown of 3 to 6 months has not begun. Writing that makes me cringe..so I say to myself, "God is good, His plan for my life and this adoption is perfect, God's timing is perfect, God is in control, He is bigger than any crazy social worker or country, this adoption WILL happen in God's perfect timing and perfect way." Then I feel better for a while and do it all over again :)

This song has become my anthem, I literally walk around the house singing it whenever I'm worried about all that is unfolding. Has God asked you to do something crazy, listen to it I promise you'll soon be singing it in the shower!

Jack

Life has gotten away from me, we've been so busy, I haven't had the chance to go back and tell everyone a little bit more about our baby boy and how the adoption is going.

First of all his name is Jack. We have not decided which of his Korean names to keep as his middle name, but his middle name will be one of the names his birth mother gave him. I like very unique names in fact I made up Kylynn's name in hopes that she would always be the only "Kylynn" in her class. But the more I thought about my unique boy names the more I thought about how our son is so unique already. He will most likely be the only Asian child with White parents in his class, maybe the only adopted child, and definitely a minority throughout life because of his heritage. So I wanted a name that was not the most popular but a name that would never be mis-pronounced or made fun of. I also wanted to honor Kyle's grandpa Johnny and his uncle Rick (who's given name is John), who were some of the most important men in Kyle's life and shaped him into the great man he is today. So Jack it is, Jack is a variation of John, which means God is gracious.

Indeed God is gracious. Our son is almost 6 months old now and was 5 months when we received the referral, this is a huge blessing as many of the children were not being referred for adoption till they were older. We are being told to expect 3 to 6 months to get him home, that would make it somewhere between November 2008 and February 2009, we are praying that it is very soon, even sooner than expected. We have filled out the paperwork that is to go off to different agencies in the U.S. and the country from which we're adopting. The paperwork was tedious to say the least, but after a week we got it all straightened out.

One of the common questions I am getting from people currently is whether or not he is "healthy". This is not something Kyle and I took lightly, we have spoken with a doctor twice regarding his medical records and in general yes he is healthy. He like me is not perfect though and we never set out to get a perfect child, just our perfect child. Jack does have a cleft lip and palette and his mother did not receive prenatal care for most of the pregnancy. All that to say we believe that he is healthy but you can predict very little about a person's future from the way they are at 5 months old. I can assure you that we prayed about this child, spoke with experts, received counsel and are sure of this: This is the child God has chosen for us. And that is all we need to know, the rest we will find out as we go.

So many of you have come up to us in the past few weeks and congratulated us and told us you are praying for us, I just want to say thank you. I love the look of joy and celebration on your faces, you make me more excited, you assure me that we will be well loved and supported throughout this journey of adoption we're on. Your prayers are more valuable to me than most anything in my life, I feel you holding me up when the journey has been especially challenging and tiring, as it has during these past few weeks.

I have a million things to do, so hopefully I'll stop with my procrastinating (which I do when I'm scared) and start preparing to be a mother of two, Kylynn and Jack.

Grieving with Hope

As I'm sure many of you are aware of Steven Curtis Chapman lost his youngest daughter in a terrible accident where his teenage son accidentally ran over his sister, Maria. I was so happy to see the video clip below of their interview with Larry King, to see that they are by God's good grace doing well and using this situation to glorify Him. It is an amazing interview that will touch your heart more than you can imagine, please take a moment to watch it. If you would like to learn more about their organization, Shaohannah's Hope, please click here.

It's Olympics time!

That's right, the TV fast is no more. In fact I have gone to other extreme, I turn on the TV throughout the day, to see what sport is on, and watch every single night during prime time. I absolutely love the Olympics, especially the summer games!

My favorite sport is women's gymnastics, but I also love the swimming and diving. Yesterday I was watching beach volleyball and that was really good too. It's only day two but already I'm really bugging Kylynn. For the past two months the only time the TV was on was to let her watch an Elmo video, so she is peeved that I keep saying no to her request to watch an Elmo video, telling her no we're going to watch the Olympics! She does not catch my enthusiasm. Today she did sit with me and watch swimming, I bribed her with popcorn, but we had a great time.

I can't help but reflect that the Olympics came at a perfect time in my life. I need the distraction, something to keep my mind off of the desire to fly to our adoption country and bring my baby home. It also seems like pretty good timing for our country as a whole, it reminds us just how proud we are to be Americans. It brings us together, reminding us of all we have in common, instead of what separates us, like who we're voting for in November. It's a nice reminder, our country needs to come together, to focus on what binds us together, not bickering over our differences.

So, I encourage you, go turn on your TV to NBC! Watch the Olympics, cheer for the U.S.A! Enjoy those great human interest stories that always make you cry (you know it's true). Look at the smog in China and say, wow! I'm blessed to live where I can breathe. It's a great time to be an American.

It's a Boy!

Our day has finally come. We have been given a child. He is the most beautiful little boy, I've ever seen. I cannot believe how much I love him already, and I cannot wait to meet him.

I am blessed to not only have pictures but also a video, I have already watched it three times! We will not be posting any pictures, etc. online due to our agency's policies.

I will write more soon. Please pray for us, that he'll come home very soon. And that I (and Kyle) will be able to have patience and not let the fact that my baby is not home consume me.

Y'alls prayers mean the world to me, you played the biggest role in bringing this baby to our family, God works through our prayers.

Nursing an adopted child

I remember in the hospital after giving birth to Kylynn, the peditrian came in and asked me how nursing was going. It was going okay, but was still difficult at that time. I remember clear as day that he then said to me, "Don't worry it's hard for everyone, I don't know of anyone who would say that nursing was one of life's great experiences". Obviously he was a man who doesn't know a lot of the woman I know.

Since that time (including may stay at the hospital) I have met several women who would in fact say that breast feeding their baby(s) was one of life's great experiences. I also learned that I was one of those women. I nursed Kylynn till she was 19 months and it was not a burden but one of the greatest experiences in my life.

So, when I mourn different aspects of adoption, I mourn the loss of nursing this child. I think more than anything else I feel this loss the most. But I want to encourage anyone out there reading this blog who is considering adoption. You can in fact nurse an adopted child (especially if you are part of an adoption where you receive the child as a newborn).

If this is something you would like more information on please read this blog from Sit a Spell .

Welcome to the world of the employed!

Well at least for the next six weeks. Kyle has found a job, to do contracting work for a company here in town. The job is for six weeks worth of work. Kyle still feels a little worried about the whole job situation but I'm happy. His boss is aware of Kyle's need for something that lasts more than six weeks and encouraged him to take time off for interviews as needed. So now Kyle can look for work (after work) while receiving a paycheck.

I hope what I have to say brings God so much glory... This past month has truly been one of the best months of my life, while at the same time being very challenging. God listened to all the prayers of His people, thank y'all for praying, and really blessed us. We were able to be calm while earning a combined income of zero dollars :). And I mean really calm, like calmer than we are when we had a job. We were able to have lots of good family time, Kylynn is going to miss her daddy once he starts going off to work again. I learned that my marriage has become such a strong, healthy, god-centered relationship (this has not always been the case, but that's for another post). God provided for us financially, we had friends give Kyle some work at their wood-working shop, it was just a little money but it blessed us greatly. We got approved for a local insurance after 1 week, instead of the one to two months they said it would take, so now we don't have to pay for COBRA for even one month. Most of all I felt the family of believers close in around us to take care of us in a number of ways, and I've never felt so safe.

Please don't stop praying for us, Kyle still needs a full time job, but I know God has a plan for that, and I'm excited watching Him work.