A celebration for Chloe

Some sweet friends of mine finally talked me into having a little shower for Chloe, I was a little hesitant to have a shower for a third baby (what would Emily Post say?).  But as someone pointed out, every baby deserves to be celebrated, and in our circle of friends we are blessed to get to get together on a regular basis to celebrate another baby!  My friends threw me a wonderful shower to celebrate Chloe's adoption.

It was definitely my kind of shower, we sat around and talked and talked, you know that great mama talk that can go on forever, sharing all the struggles your dealing with now and laughing at how silly some of the things that keep you up at night really are.

We ate the most amazing cupcakes, really amazing.  I'll let you in on a little secret, I'm not a fan of cupcakes and not really a fan of icing either, but these cupcakes and icing were to die for.  Actually my friend who made the cupcakes also is incredibly crafty, great with kids, has a great eye for style...I'm thinking that maybe it's not fair for God to give out talents so lopsidedly (can you believe spell check is not asking me to fix that word).

I have been blessed by so many gifts from these women and other friends throughout Chloe's adoption, prayers, meals, encouragement, and hand-me-downs, I really didn't want another thing.  Some people were sneaky and brought a little something, and I must admit it was nice to get Chloe's first personalized item.

Thank you all who came, I can't tell you what it means to have an evening to catch up with so many of the women I adore, it had been a long time and I had forgotten how much I need that.  There was a time where I had no real friends to my name, was newly married, and thought that there was no way God cared enough to help me out of the dark place I'd ended up.  When I look at each one of you I'm reminded how much He loves me, how much he has used each one of you as His hands and feet to show me just how special I am to Him.  You all are a blessing I never deserved but will hold onto as tight as I can.

What I'm loving this month

I'm not sure exactly how to say this, I don't want to get some weird hits on my blog this week, so here goes nothing.  When I was pregnant with Kylynn I went from being "chesty" to "very chesty" and even as I lost most of that weight over the past 5 years, that particular area of my body is the exact same size as it was when I was a nursing mama.  So I hate putting on a swimsuit for all the normal reason plus the reason of looking like a 60 year old woman with her chest hanging done around her waist.  Not to mention I look like I'm trying to be revealing, really I'm not I just can't find a top to fit me correctly!

I decided enough was enough and I was just going to have to shell out some money for a swim top this year, even the cheapskate in me is so happy with the results.  Land's End has such an amazing selection for swim suits no matter what your particular flaw(s) are.  In several of the tops you can pick your size and THEN choose your cup size (if you are a D or above) or even choose tops made for women who've had a mastectomy or are long waisted.  So for 40$ after shipping, I got this lovely lady.

I love it, love it, love it!  It fits so nicely, it has underwire (can I get a hallelujah!) and I can keep the girls completely covered, which is always nice when you live in a relatively small town and are always running into friends at the pool (am I the only one who feels odd standing in a bathing suit talking to our youth pastor?).  I had the swim mini that I got from Land's End last year on clearance for 10$ so for 50$ I have a swimsuit I actually feel good in, for the first time since I became a mom.

We are part of a new ministry at our church aimed at raising awareness in the church to care for orphans.  The leader of the group went to a conference on the topic of orphan care and brought back the book, Castaway Kid by R. B. Mitchell.  I'm not quite done with the book yet but I am blowing through it, it is amazing and uplifting and basically you need to read it.  I am struck while I read it on the many adults who made a difference in his life growing up even though he was never adopted.  I am even more struck that God has more in store for our family and what he would like us to do to love the orphan.

Have you had the chicken strip salad at Chick Fila, well you need to.  Personally I'm not usually one to waste a good eating out by getting a salad, but this salad is better than anything else I've ever had there.  It's the perfect combination of getting in several vegetables but still getting that great flavor of their chicken.

Did y'all watch the finale of Parenthood.  Ok I know it was like a whole month ago, but I DVRed and watched it a couple of weeks ago, so good!  I was going to eat a piece of cake while watching it, ultimate relaxation, but I cried the entire hour and couldn't eat my cake (don't you worry I ate it later).  Please tell me you guys love this show, such good TV!

My friend I love but have never met, Elizabeth, told me to read Please Look after Mom by Kyung-sook Shin, and I always do what she says.  It was awesome, loved getting to learn little bits about Korean culture and it was beautifully written.  My only critique was I would have like more of it, I think (although I might have just been confused by the names) that there is a child that we never get to know and we could have gotten to know the father more as well.

Finally I would like to bring back dancing in the rain.  I believe in it, as in if I had a I had a "rules to live by" it would contain, never pass up a chance to dance in the rain.  You can have things like that on your rules when you live in Texas, in Seattle I'm thinking not so much.

Chloe's room

The room before, this is the only picture I could find, the day we moved in.

This is a view of what would become Chloe's room from our other "true" loft

When we began house hunting a couple of years ago we did what any two uptight people would do, we made a list of what the house had to have, what would be a nice bonus, and what would make it unacceptable.  Then we walked into our home and we broke all our rules, we bought a three bedroom, two and a half bath house with all the bedrooms upstairs, none of those things were supposed to happen (we were supposed to get more bedrooms and bathrooms out of a move).  But this was the house that God gave us and I love everything about it, how it's old and every room is crying out to be made new (and we get to do that!), it has a ton of space although admittedly a lot of that space is tricky to make use of.

Someday our daughters will share a room but for now Chloe needed her own room, so we took this three bedroom house and made it four.  Connected to our bedroom was a sitting room that was a loft, as in one of the walls was missing from it being a complete room.  So Kyle framed out the wall we hired someone to put up the sheet rock, Kyle took over again and textured and painted the room.

I couldn't seem to get a could picture w/o the flash which messes up the colors some but we you get the gist.

The after: Chloe's room

One of the reasons that God placed me in this house was so I could meet my friend, K, she is a talented woman whom I adore, she is probably the only person I enjoy talking on the phone to, she always makes me happy with her calls of something she has to tell me real quick, she is always enthusiastic about life.  Most importantly, K was one of the the biggest cheerleader in my life during Chloe's adoption and as soon as we found out it was a girl, she came over to show me the quilt she was making for my daughter.

It was like she had crawled inside my heart and discovered what I love, this quilt is so beautiful it includes my favorite colors and the patterns remind me of patterns I see on my grandmother's blankets and dishes.  It reminds me of walking through a antique store and finding a treasure.  I treasure this quilt and therefore I went against K's wishes and hung it up on the wall as the focal point of the room, I just had to design the room around it, Chloe can snuggle with it when she's older.  K went on to make me a bumper for the crib, a crib skirt, and curtains.  I cannot repay her for what she did for me, it's appropriate though that my daughter whom God gifted to me resides in a room filled with items gifted to me.

She's a graduate

Kylynn had her pre-school graduation this week which made me think to the first time I got to wear elbow length gloves.  At my pre-school graduation I wore knee-socks on my hands, really it's a true story.  I really loved Miss Piggy, what does that say about me?, and I loved her elbow length gloves.  I thought that my pre-school graduation was a fine enough event for me to need such gloves, but my mom disagreed.  Never one to be deterred by a mother's no, I snuck some knee-socks in my backpack and apparently the teachers thought it was too funny to stop me.  I wish I had the pictures here at my house but they're at my parent's, I can tell you that in those pictures it is clear that I fully believe that, 1. I look very good and 2. there's no difference between elbow length gloves and knee socks.  There is not a hint of embarrassment on my face.

Pre-school graduations are at the same time silly and exciting.  As a parent watching you catch yourself feeling sentimental over this school she'll never go to again, these friends she won't see anymore and then you snap out of it and realize, she's four and she doesn't know the difference.  All the same I was glad for the chance to make her feel special, to remind her that it's a big deal to be starting kindergarten next year and to remember all she's learned this year.

I'm perhaps the only parent who actually watched the event, the rest of them spent the entire time viewing it through their camera lens and since that was Kyle's job, I figured I might as well enjoy what was before me at that moment.  They began with a play, Kylynn played someone from the orient, which I thought was rather appropriate.  They then sang us several songs, said a Bible verse, and of course "graduated."

The kids did such a great job, the play was done really well and the set and the costumes were amazing, way more than I was expecting.  Afterwards we got to look through their scrapbooks and of course eat some cookies, which Kylynn told me before was what she was looking forward to the most, she's apparently not one for sentiment :).

Catch up

I'm not sure where I've been, how I went a week without blogging and worse a week without reading all the blogs I love so much.  Life has been busy and I find myself sometimes wondering how I'll ever get it all done.  Is it just me or do you ever read the blogs of the women with 4,5,6,7 kids and wonder how that is actually possible, am I doing something wrong?

Some fun things we've been up to lately.  Kylynn had her ballet recital and Nana came down for a visit, and got to meet her granddaughter for the first time.

Chloe went swimming for the first time, she was semi-interested.

I found this awesome website, tinyprints, and made the most beautiful mother's day cards you ever did see.  I forgot to take a picture of Nana's before sealing it, but took some of my mom's.  I will never buy another Hallmark, not to mention they have coupon codes!

We took our first trip as a family of five.  It was good, it was hectic and busy, but good.  While we were home we got to celebrate my parent's 35th anniversary.  I will always treasure sitting at that restaurant listening to them talk of the last 35 years, not to mention I had the best steak of my life :).

We also enjoyed some relaxing in the pool and celebrating our moms!

That catches y'all up to this week, but you don't want to see pictures of my messy house or laundry, so we'll leave it there for now :)

You and you and me

We sit in a room, three women, all adults now, each with their own life.  Lives that could fill us each up, making us believe that there is no need for this, the invisible tie that binds us together so tightly I can't believe you don't feel it.

And someone says that when you think about it we're so different and we don't really have that much in common.  I nod and agree and realize now we have a choice.  For years you were my friends and I was yours, even when we hated and hit and screamed, we had each other, needed each other, there was no one who knew us really knew us like we knew each other.

We figure it out, we say the hard things, move forward, hug, and vow to do this better, this being sisters as adults, choosing to love.  Learning that loving people takes work and there are relationships worth fighting for.  There are people who own pieces of us and if we lost them, wouldn't we lose a part of ourselves?

I lay that night staring at the ceiling, the words swirling through my head again, I keep hearing you saying we don't have anything in common and I wonder how I could have nodded my head, how you couldn't see that if there is anyone I have anything in common with it is you and you.

I know her hands more than I know my own and I know you do too.  Her laugh is your favorite sound and neither of us can resist laughing when we hear it.  Your voice is my voice so much that there is not a person who can tell us apart not even me, except for her, who has spent her life sandwiched between these two identical voices.  We know when he's angry, when he's sad, when we've dissapointed him, it is each of our greatest fear.  Isn't that something, doesn't that count for something?

When I was 16, you were 14, and you were 12 and we moved far away and my heart broke apart and I do not think I would have survived if it were not for the two of you.  And you know that, no one else really does, really understands what it was like for me, why I'm scared of moving, of leaving, of changing.  Remember when?  And you do, you remember all the way back, back to the beginning of us.  I'm not sure that there is anyone I have more in common with.

And now I have this family, my family, 4 other people to love and love me back and maybe it should be enough.  But when the day is through and all is quiet, it's not enough, I will always need you, the ones who loved me first.  Someone to whom I don't have to explain, the ones who knew me before I belonged to so many people.  When I wasn't his wife and their mother, but just a girl, who used to dream big crazy dreams.

You and you and me, what we have is bigger than just having something in common, it is love and it is family, and it will always be worth fighting for.

Whatnot Wednesday

*Kyle left for his first business trip since becoming parents to three yesterday.  I'm doing okay, it was not the first time I've put all three to bed and it's really not as hard as it sounds.  The hard part is coming down at 8pm ready to finally relax and instead be greeted with dishes.  Is it okay that I miss him as much for his help around the house as I do his company?

*I have begun a new discipline with Kylynn in complete desperation it came to me, take away TV privileges.  I am diligent in not allowing the kids to have more than 1 or 2 hours a day of "screen time" and on the weekends we don't watch TV at all, so TV is precious to my kiddos.  Here's the deal, if she has a day where she obeys and is kind to her brother (overall) she will earn the right to watch TV the next day.  This has got to work or I'm going to send her off to the circus.

*When we pray at night Jack's latest line makes me smile every time, "dear God, thank you for being in my heart."

*We finally jumped on the Skype bandwagon a few months ago and I must say my family must think my children are wild animals.  Now granted they are kind of crazy all the time but something about being able to see aunts and grandparents on the computer makes them nutty.  By the end of a conversation I'm exhausted, amazed my computer is still in one piece, and pretty sure they're glad we live three hours away.

*We had such a restful weekend this past week.  It was one of those weekends where you can see God showing you how much He loves you.  Kyle's mom came for a visit so we got to eat out, she got to go to Kylynn's ballet recital, which was about 10 minutes long (I cannot tell you how happy this makes me, I've heard the horror stories of what real ballet recitals are like).  We spent the afternoon touring homes in the parade of homes which is something both Kyle and I love, I got some good ideas and inspiration, the children were perfect angels (definitely a gift from God) and then to top it off we re-discovered a great restaurant on that side of town and had milkshakes and pie for dinner.