I'm sorry I haven't been blogging much lately but....

You would think after four years of blogging, I would be good at this, I would have crossed over the threshold into blogs that will stand the test of time.  Well maybe you wouldn't, but I think those things.  But as of late I have been a horrible blog slacker and it scares me, because this blog is pretty much the only outlet I have.  Writing is the one activity (that I do!) that I enjoy and is purely for me, it's one of the few (non-mommy) things that I feel like I am *somewhat* good at.

But all hope is not lost, we are allowed seasons in our lives, right?  And we can learn from our mistakes and make better choices next time, so they tell us at least.  I have a lot of good reasons and some pitiful ones to blame for my lack of blogging lately.  In no particular order I give you my "I'm sorry I haven't been blogging much lately but..."

I have three kids, ok the lady who just gave birth to her 7th over at Vitafamiliae still manages to blog everyday, but I have yet to figure out her secret.  As it is my children fill up my day to overflowing and often fill up parts of the night.

They invited Pinterest.  At the end of a long day (are the days ever short?) if I want to veg I am no longer limited to checking on the blogs I love, I can click over to Pinterest and see what they're pinning.   After getting sucked in I leave feeling like my eyeballs are going to fall out from staring at a screen that long.  When I'm done the last thing I want to do is do something else on the computer.

I am questioning how much I should be sharing about our life, our struggles with our children, and what we do on a regular basis with the whole world (because you know the whole world is reading :).  But as they get older I sometimes want to tell you this crazy/horrible/hilarious thing they did and think but would they want that up on the internet for all to know, probably not.  So that leaves me just confused enough to throw my hands up in the air and click over to Pinterest instead.

I joined facebook.  It has not been the time suck that people warned me about, but still it's one more thing that I put before checking in over here in blogland.  In addition sometimes when I'm really excited about something, like getting our IRS refund after 10 months of fighting I share it there instead of here and once out of my head I forget all about it and am left thinking I have nothing to blog about.

I am tired in a way I've never been before.  We are all still adjusting around here to being a family of five, to the challenges and stresses adoption can bring to a family.  This past year I have learned so very much about my inadequacies, about my need for a community to help me on this road, about what it means to rejoice in suffering.  I have found some great books, some great friends, some great support and I know that God will provide everything we need for this journey but that doesn't change how much it takes out of me each day.

So those are my excuses, both the good and bad, and some others have been kept quiet, lest you get sick of my complaining (I'm working on it :).  But one of my goals for 2012 (it's something I plan on blogging about soonish...) is to return to blogging two times a week, because this blog is important to me for many reasons.  Top of the list is you, the people who come here a read my attempts at writing and most especially those of you who have reached out to me and become real life friends who were my first support group and to this day some of my favorite people.