As a stay at home mom, I often am careful not to sit down in the evenings too soon, because I know once I sit down I'll realize just how tired I am and will not be able to get back up. After chasing around a three year old and an one year old all day, I am tired. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. I am behind on a thousand projects and only a small section of my home is ever clean at the same time.
But here's the thing, I am happy. My joy is complete and my cup runneth over. The exhaustion I feel, feels well earned, a job well done. There is a realization, although certainly in the back of my mind, that I am doing my life's work. God has entrusted two of his children into Kyle and I's care, and I get to use my time to raise these children well. My job is hard and it's exhausting and even frustrating, but it is satisfying.
When I have the hard days, the ones where I wonder if I will ever teach Kylynn to obey a rule or if Jack will ever stop throwing all his food on the ground in a fit, I remember that indeed I have never loved my life like I love it now. Being a mom is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me and I am today and everyday thankful.
I am thankful...
*For Kylynn, for the way she needs to tell me she loves me around 10 times a day.
*For Jack, for the way he says "uh-oh", even if what just happened caused a mess.
*For Kylynn, for the way she loves the Lord, and desires to please Him.
*For Jack, for his smile, his beautiful smile, and contagious laugh.
*For Kylynn, for the colorful outfits she picks out every day, that perfectly match her personality *For Jack, for the way he looks when he's holding his blanket.
*For my sweet husband, if it weren't for him, nothing I've said would be true. He makes my crazy days sane, my good days better, and inspires me to love the kids better, be more paitent, and enjoy them more. I am happy at the end of the day mainly because he is my partner in this amazing call of raising children. After my salvation, he is the greatest gift God has ever given me.
*For my family, for the safety and the laughter I find with them. For the relief I feel when I come into their presence, I can leave any other personas at the door and just be me. A me, that only they fully understand because they know the whole story. To know that there are people in the world who will never stop loving me, it causes me to believe that indeed I can do anything.
*For my spot in this world. To live in this great country, this great state, this great town, our great home. Whenever I am away, I am reminded how blessed I am and cannot wait to return to our home. It is no small thing to have assurance you are exactly where God wants you to be.
*For my God. You are making me more aware of just how much I need you. How I cannot take my next breath without your help. You are making me more aware of just how much you love me, that I can trust you fully, and embrace the good gifts you are giving me. You are teaching me to be willing to abandon all my dreams and follow yours and in that is such freedom. Why you choose to adopt me into your family, to save this sinner, I will never understand, but there is nothing I am more thankful for.