It's time!

We got the call, THE call.  We are soon to be in Korea meeting our precious baby girl, Chloe.

Will you pray for us, it is the only reason that last time went so smoothly.  Please pray for God to go before us and prepare our path.  Please pray for God to prepare our daughter's heart to say goodbye to her foster family and become part of her forever family.

Now it's off to make some lists...

A tea party

I started out this week that is supposed to be a break, spring break, feeling frantic as I looked over my to-do list and decided to treat this week like my last week before I head to Korea (though I have absolutely no idea if that is true and most likely is not).  I began to do what I do when I feel overwhelmed, a half a project here, a third of a project there, fold a piece of laundry, oh wait go send an email.  Setting the pace for a very busy and entirely un-fun spring break.

Then suddenly the view outside caught my eye, it was a beautiful spring day, in fact I'd say God was showing off a little, and I realized that 1) this is my last time being a mother to just two children and 2) nothing on my list was really that important, if it didn't get done before we went to Korea, it wasn't the end of the world.  I went upstairs to tell Kylynn to finish up cleaning her room so we could go play outside, and she stood there in her self-made apron (a baby blanket and a belt) and told me how she was going to make a tea party for me and all that it would entail.

I looked at her, really seeing her, when so often I'm to busy to pay much attention, with her bright eyes and her plans she had dreamed up and her desire to be a princess right out of the movies, who puts on an apron to clean and then a party dress for a tea party.  Let's do it, put on your dress, pick one out for me, I'll make the food, you decorate the table on the back porch.

She finally decided on a long summer dress for me, after I encouraged her that her original pick was a little too fancy.  She cleaned her room in record time and was off to decorate.  My daughter has many of my loves and hang-ups, she loves to decorate as do I, but she has a flare to her that I've never had, she mixed and matched and made a beautiful table, although she was sad I wouldn't give her one of my vases for flowers.  We had strawberries with sugar, goldfish, and cookies per her request.  We also had hot chocolate because Jack had been talking about it for days and I'd been telling him I would give him some soon.

Jack had been insisting I call him "Cinderella" all day, so of course he was right at home, as I believe Cinderella loves tea parties.  I have no idea why he wanted to be called Cinderella, he acted his same old boy self all day and really I think just got a kick out of the control of correcting me every few minutes to say, "no, Cinderella!"  It was a lovely tea party and really set the tone for this week.  Now that I've calmed down I'm actually getting a lot more done and realizing that what I need to put at the top of my list is time with my kids.

It's not someone else's problem

Sometimes I breathe a big sigh of relief that God opened doors in the direction of international adoption over adopting through the foster care system, because I know the foster care system is broken and messy and painful and long.

But sometimes I read something that causes my heart to break and my eyes to open, something that causes me to say, this is not someone else's problem.  Please go read this article written by a girl who aged out of the foster care system in this country, it's so important as the body of Christ that we view these children as our responsibility and take the time to pray and ask God what He wants us to do about it.

My new friend, Jodi

Blogging has been so many good things in my life, one of them is the chance to meet others out there who are walking along the same path.  Others who feel the pull towards adoption and understand the unique joy it is to adopt.  Others that I get to tentatively talk to, in a comment or email, and over time become real true friends.  Friends I would tell my secrets to, turn to for advice, and who in return, remind me that I am not alone.

The other day I made a new friend, Jodi Queenan, and I'm really excited to introduce y'all to her, because besides being a soon to-be adoptive mama, she is a talented artist with a very generous heart.  I first found Jodi and her art while having an entirely impulsive shopping day at etsy.  I began looking around for "adoption art", whatever that means, because I wanted art work for Jack's big boy room that reflected his unique story and his Korean heritage.  Finally I stumbled upon Jodi's etsy shop and I knew I had found what I was looking for.  She has beautiful art to reflect the love between parents and children, adoption, and interracial families, I was smitten.

The two pieces I decided on were, Even the mighty Ocean, and Korean adoption.  I snatched them up and before I knew it a package had arrived.  The only problem was it only contained one of the pieces I had purchased, so I emailed Jodi and she was super nice about believing me and getting another one out to me right away.  Too bad a few months later (yes I'm a little behind on my projects) when I finished framing them and went to take out the trash this week I found the missing piece in an envelope that was there all along.

I was mortified, I had stolen! a really beautiful piece of artwork, and worse when I had told her that I was missing one of the pieces, I said I was SURE it wasn't there (at the time I really was).  So I mustered up my courage and emailed her to see how I could get the print back to her or make it right in some way. Instead of being mad, she said no biggie, give it away to a friend or charity and then after breathing in a big breath of relief, I knew I had made a friend.

My new friend Jodi, besides being uber-talented is using her etsy shop to raise money for an orphanage in Ethiopia, where a percentage of all her profits goes each month.  Jodi also is involved in raising money for various charities through her artwork.  In addition to the prints that I purchased from her, she also makes jewelry to express your unique family, jewelry that I just have to have, hint, hint.  And her latest thing, "thank you for asking cards" which are perhaps the best idea I've ever seen, they're cards to hand out to people who inquire about your interracial family, and include additional cards that talk about how one person can make a difference in the life of an orphan.  

My sweet friends, go check her out and know that money you spend at her shop is supporting not only her and her husband's desire to adopt from Ethiopia but also helps other children in need of families in that country.  Be ready to make a friend, she is one of those rare ones who are super talented but you can't even be jealous because they're that sweet!

boo-boos on my face

Invisible friends out there, I'm still here, I really am, but life has hit me upside the head this week with a big ol' bowl of busy (does that even make any sense...I'm so tired I don't care!)

But I'll write soon, I've got something I need to tell you, it's not about Chloe, it's about me, and how I made a new friend, and how I stole a piece of art work, and how you should not steal her art work, but buy it, because it's beautiful.  I'll explain, soon....

For now I leave you with this quote of the day from my daughter,
"Mommy you have a boo-boo on your face"
me: "mmm hmm"
K: "you always have boo-boos all over your face"

Why thank you, I'm glad to hear my not so clear skin hasn't gone unnoticed around here.

A week of many lists

I've been busy making lists over here.  In my life there was a distinct time when I went from being care-free to being a list maker.  When I was in 6th grade I went through a phase where I was forgetting something of importance everyday, a clarinet here, a lunch there, a paper over there.  I wasn't doing it to be rebellious, I'm just a bit scattered.

My mind rushes about, when thinking of one thing it quickly leads to another and I cannot seem to hold on to all my thoughts long enough to make do without a list.  So my father made me this little notebook with a kind note on it (I still have it, although all the papers are used up) for me to make my list every night of what I needed to bring the next day and therefore stop leaving items behind.

It was one of the great lessons of my life and to this day, I make lists, about everything.  The more frantic I feel the more lists I'll make.  When we're about to leave for a trip I'll have about 3 or 4 different lists going, to-pack, to-do, things to-do on vacation, and (I'm totally for real) to-do before we leave, containing things like brush teeth, lock doors, turn off lights, take out trash, breathe in and out (ok I made that one up).

Lists, just make me feel better, once I think of something I can write it down (and I am a pen and paper girl) and have more space in my head for other thoughts.  Because of them I've become fairly good and not forgetting things.  Plus there is something deeply satisfying about crossing something off of a to-do list, proof of a task accomplished.

So you could imagine how many lists sprung to my mind when we found out this week that our baby girl has her visa physical scheduled!  For those of you not involved in an international adoption right now, that is really good news, we're almost there, after her physical they need to process the paperwork and her visa will then be issued.  We expect to get the travel call by the end of the month.

To-do, to buy for Chloe, to buy for foster mom and social workers, to pack, to clean, to put together for the kids, to read, to buy in Korea, you get the idea.  I'm a woman of many lists this week, I'm so glad for the lesson taught to me all those years ago, for every time I write something down I feel a little calmer, a little more in control, a little more like I can do this.  I can do this right?

Gifts

There are many gifts in adoption.  There is, of course, the gift of your child.  A child whose story seems more special than others, from the begining of time yours, yet set on a winding path to get there.  The gift of the first time they trust you, the first time they say I love you, mommy, those moments are bigger than you ever imagined, and you don't ever take them for granted.

There are also all the small gifts along the way, the gift of being stretched and changed into someone you didn't know you could be.  The gift of prayers, lifted up, over and over on your behalf, the gift of standing in an airport and seeing the hand of God move mountains to get you home, proof that He hears. The gift of family standing strong by your side, when they had no say in this, and yet they carry the burden all the same.  The gift of a father removing a burden, reminding you that he will make sure everything is taken care of, the gift becoming twofold with the gift of still being his little girl.

The unexpected gifts, the people who celebrate with you so loud, and you didn't think that they would be the one to feel that way.  The friends who want to help, to please let me help, and you've never helped them and this love that takes you by surprise and knocks you over with it's strength.  The gift of community, how a neighborhood can come together to celebrate your little girl and you wonder if maybe people don't understand how much neighbors can mean if you'll only let them.

The gift of each of you, who come here and read my story, my attempts and putting words together to show how beautiful this thing called adoption is and never quite gettting there, but you read and you pat on the back all the same.  The gift of shared experiences, finding those families who have walked this road too and learning from them and being changed by them and feeling such relief from knowing you are not alone.

And when it's all said and done, you are left with the gift of being a family, slightly different from the other's around you, but a family all the same.  The gift of loving each other so much, tangled together watching a movie, that you don't even remember that you are different, you only know you are blessed.