And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

My life has returned to normal once again. I went to the store today and bought things our family needed and did not forget what I was doing there. I talked to a friend on the phone and actually listened when she talked, not just pretended to listen while I contemplated what would happen next in the life of my vampires. I now am sleeping through the night soundly not taking hours to fall asleep only to wake up way to early and not be able to fall back asleep.

Yes, I have finished the Twilight series, and though I enjoyed every minute of it, I am relieved to be done reading it. I someday would like to take the time to think about exactly what it is about these books that have this addicting affect on everyone I've spoken to about them. So if you want to read them, go for it, but you've been warned, do it when you've got some serious down time.

I just started reading, Lift by Kelly Corrigan, this afternoon. And it is just what I hoped for, beautifully written, with paragraphs that are so insightful that I go back and read them three of four times to allow it sink in before I can move on. It is nice to be back to reading a book I want to read slowly, to have each word matter again.

Summer is beginning just the way I hoped, with reading and relaxing and reflection on what my life should look like in order to honor the One who's given it to me.

Read a different blog, just for today

You have got to click over to Flower Patch Farmgirl today. A beautiful post about adoption, she is an incredibly talented writer and this post meant so much to my heart.

Blessed

We had our home study this morning, it was quick and painless, as I thought it would be. I knew what to expect this time and I even knew who to expect as we had the same social worker coming out to do it. We had seen her less than a year ago for our final visit for Jack's adoption, so it was all very familiar.

Now the abyss of waiting begins. Once this home study makes it way over to Korea in a couple of weeks we will be placed in line, so to speak, for a child. This next phase will take over a year if all things stay the same, but with this type of thing you just never know it could be less or more time depending on a thousand factors.

The reality of our child coming home to us in the future is only on the fringe of my thinking. I don't allow myself to think of it too often and never for more than a fleeting moment. I allow myself the excitement of thinking someday we will be a family of five, but refuse to dwell on the wait that lies ahead of us. It's a coping strategy that I used with Jack's adoption and it served me well, so as strange as it seems I'll remain in a type of denial until an actual child is assigned to us.

Lately I've been trying to have a conversation with myself about the fact that there is no guarantee that this adoption will be anything like the last one. Unfortunately it's easy to think I know what to expect, that I already know every step on the path laid out ahead of me. I'm afraid I'm setting myself up for disappointment and confusion if I don't try to enter this adoption as a new experience, as familiar as it seems.

I've been thinking about names lately, not specific names, just a random thought of a name here a name there, of what type of name we will want to give him. With Jack I was careful to not think about names until we had an actual child to name, I hope this is not a sign of impatience.

Some of you have told me you're praying for us and again I feel the privilege of walking through this experience with a group of people we love who support us so well that I know I can walk the long road ahead. I often reflect on how so many of you have embraced us and our decisions on how we want to build our family and carried us through the difficult times, when you could have just kept your focus on your own lives. Blessed does not fully describe it, but it's the best I can do, we are blessed.

Rainy day celebration

We've been having some rainy days around here lately. It is my firm belief that rain was made to be played in, danced in, and enjoyed.

Yesterday we went on a nature hike in the light rain, picking up whatever struck our fancy, a leaf here, a rock there, a rolly polly or five. We saw not one but two very tiny baby frogs and pet the moss on a twisted tree that arches over our path.

We whispered as we entered the "forest" because there are "animals everywhere." We allowed our imaginations to run wild and sang "We're going on a bear hunt..."

All three of us walked, buckets and shovels in hand, so it was slow going but wonderful. We had the whole neighborhood to ourselves, besides an occassional passing car that looked at us curiously.

Today the rain is coming down hard and is not good for dancing, so we've opened up every curtain and set of blinds to take it all in, if we cannot go out into the rain, the rain shall come in to us. It has given us permission to hang out all day in our sweats, playing and doing art projects, and eating, and I'm sure sooner or later watching a movie.

It's good weather for submerging oneself in a story of vampires and werewolves and love in a rainy Washington town.

There are always more than enough sunny, perfect blue sky days to go around in this part of the world, so when the rain comes we will celebrate.

Vampires on the brain

First off let me just say, I'm supposed to be cleaning my house right now as my family is coming tomorrow for a visit, it is only in my perpetual procrastination, that I would decide to blog on a Friday night.

Second of all, I need to get something off my chest. There is something that has been consuming me these past few days and I feel that maybe if I tell you, in the same way that you have to sing a song stuck in your head aloud to someone else to get it to go away, it will get better. I cannot stop thinking about vampires, ok not just any old vampires, but the ones that make up the Twilight series.

I am trying to live a normal life, one where I go to bed, sleep, feed my children, talk to other humans, clean a house, you get the idea. But all I want to do is read these books so that things can be resolved and all will be right with the world again.

Have you read them, here are my thoughts though I'm only a hundred pages into book 2:

*The love story is over the top, and even as I say that I know it has sucked me in all the same.

*I am mad at someone who says one day, "You are my world, I will never leave you" and the next, "Because it's best for you, I'm leaving and will make it as if I never existed". Mad, mad, like he did it to me, this I fear says something about my psychological state.

*Edward (the vampire that the main character is in love with) is described as absolutely perfect, more beautiful than any other person on earth. Ok, so why is that guy playing the part of Edward in the movies? If it was up to me it would be Jared Leto, now I haven't seen Jared in well, a long time, but remember him when he stared in "My So Called Life". Jared Leto, as he looked right then, that is who should play Edward, I'm just saying.

*Teenage girls listen up: Love is NOT like it is in this book, and love is not something that one should loose themselves in so completely that they no longer exist without the other person. Or more to the point: Love is not worth becoming a vampire over (I don't know if that happens all I know is that, she wants that to happen, DO NOT RUIN THE ENDING FOR ME, Please :)

*I need help.

Off to clean and contemplate these teenagers and vampires and how I obviously need to get a life.

Have I told you?

I think there are some things I've forgotten to tell y'all, some small things I wanted to blog about that got pushed to the side and forgotten. Since, I know you would hate to not know what's new with me, without further ado, here are some things I keep forgetting to tell you.

I have started making my own bread and popcorn at home. I haven't bought either from the store in a few months and I've loved this. I know making my own popcorn is saving me money, making the bread I'm not sure about, but I do know that I'm controlling what my bread is made of this way, no chemicals and only honey to sweeten it. We use our bread machine and there are hundreds of recipes online to choose from, depending on what you want to make. To make your own popcorn I use this recipe:

Fill a brown paper (lunch) bag with 1/4 cup of uncooked popcorn kernals. Cook in the microwave for about 2 minutes (listen and stop it if there is 3 seconds or more between pops). Season with butter and salt if you wish or just eat it plain.

I am re-thinking the places we spend our money. I feel a personal desire to shop at local stores where the people of this town that I love benefit directly and indirectly from my dollar, and as a bonus, have a much better shopping experience. I also am praying about the changes I need to make as far as not spending our money at stores that participate in actions that negatively affect people in the United States or globally. One of my goals this summer is to read some books on this topic, to further research places where I spend my money and to make sure that I am honoring God not just in what I buy but in who I buy it from. I'll share with you what I decide, and you will roll your eyes at me, but hey what can I say, it's just the way God made me :).

I finished my bike ride, well actually all four of us did. We rode 19 miles and I did it at a faster speed than I had during any of our training rides, I guess I'm more competitive than I thought because being in a group with all those people made me want to really push myself as hard as I could.

I know that this is a very unflatering picture of me...why didn't I take the helmet off for the picture, like I need something to make my head look even bigger! But that's just how much I love y'all, showing you the real me, even when I'm in my very tight (with extra padding on the butt, no less) bike shorts.

Finally in case this post was a little boring, here's a video of Jack dancing to Elmo and Chris Brown singing. Unfortunately I didn't grab the camera till the second time I played it for him, the first time he was dancing so much I thought he was going to fall off his stool.

Rest

I can feel life beginning to slow down, my muscles losing their tension, my brain slowing down having nothing to keep it up at night worrying.  Summer arrived for us this weekend and we took it all in, we worked on projects, ate ice cream cones for dinner, went the the splash pad and the pool, watch movies, and finally began to rest.

Rest is not something we do to easily around here.  You know the little kid who never stops wiggling and getting into things and people are always coming up to you saying, "he sure is busy!"  That little kid grows up to be Kyle, who would rather pull his hair out then sit still and rest.  I on the other hand was not that kid, but grew up to marry Kyle and have become more like him over the years, although I only work about a fraction as hard as he does, I try to keep up.  Then there is there is the fact that we are  in a busy time of life, every time I get a chance to catch up with some friends I realize that we are not alone, this time of life is busy!

This weekend, Nana took Kylynn back home to San Antonio, so we were a family of three, which made rest much easier for all of us.  Jack sleeps in hours later than Kylynn and takes twice the nap she does, so needless to say we had much more free time to get some things done.  It was peaceful and although we really missed Kylynn, it was a lot of fun to just focus all our attention on Jack.

I am so excited about this summer, about the rest that comes naturally when you spend the afternoon at the pool, you come home feeling completely relaxed and wholly satisfied.  I hope I don't see a single doctor this summer.  I hope we all become brown and freckled.  Most of all, I hope we all can learn how to rest as God intends, to figure that out and incorporate it into our regular lives, to leave this summer feeling refreshed and ready to go into next year with our eyes and hearts set upon our heavenly Father.